Birthday Parties and Spirited Kids

Birthday parties are deemed one of the top stressors for young children. What’s a parent to do? Avoid all birthday parties? Or recognize that birthday parties provide an excellent opportunity to develop essential life skills.

When Your Child Refuses to Share

My Child Won’t Share!  It’s a common concern and frequently a source of embarrassment especially when it’s your child grabbing every toy in sight and shouting, “It’s mine!”

Picking up the Cues: BEFORE the Meltdown

Two thirds of our “sensing cells” are in our gut – that’s why when your child wakes in the morning and you know before he’s even gotten out of bed that it’s a going to be a lousy day you get that “kick in the gut” sensation.  

Setting Limits is Not Being Mean

Choose To Connect

• Bend down, look into your child’s eyes, smile and say, “Good morning my precious child!”  (Even if this a day you feel like you are faking it, try it.) 

Happy Valentines Week!!

What To Do If Your Child Quits When The Going Gets Tough

Does your child....

• Give up quickly when faced with a difficult task.
• Lash out if something does not go as they hoped or planned.
• Avoid tough tasks.
• Refuse to complete tasks, often insisting that they are boring.
• Become angry when asked to wait or to take turns.
• Quit when they can’t do something perfectly on the first attempt.

Rather than a behavior problem, lack of motivation or an anger issue, your child may simply be experiencing low frustration tolerance.

Do You Know What To Do When Your Child Calls You Names?

Your child is screaming, “You are stupid.” Or worse, “I hate you!” You feel yourself spiraling, every cell in your body triggered. Do you yell too? Flee? Burst into tears? Or do you somehow stay cool?

REBOUND After the Holidays

Late bedtimes, disrupted routines, unsolicited advice, too much sugar and CLUTTER from all the gifts bringing you down?  Here are seven steps to help you REBOUND from the post-holiday blues. 

When You Must Say No

Halloween; Spooky or Simply "Spirited"

Tips for Halloween, Ghosts, Goblins and Emotion Coaching:  Building the Relationship that Keeps Your Child Working with You

Growth Spurts: A fuel source for Tantrums

Mornings have been going well. Drop-off at school, not a problem. Even pick-up from school AND bedtime have been relatively peaceful until everything blows up. It’s as though a force has taken over your child. NOTHING is right. 

Tantrums: Understanding and Reducing Them

Look for the REAL Fuel Source

What to do When Your Child Refuses to Follow the Plan

Set Your Child Up for a Successful Start to School

Strengthen Self-Regulation Skills by Building Your Child’s Emotion Vocabulary

No More Begging to Get Your Child to Do What you Ask

Remember the old days when getting out the door merely required putting on your coat and walking out? Or, when someone said, why don’t we go?  You just went? 

When your child yells at you: Expecting and Coaching respectful behavior

Perhaps it was the foot stomp punctuating the shrill rebuttal to your simple question that caught your attention today.   Lately, it seems “normal” for your child to scream every time you ask her to do anything.  How did this happen?    

Take the Fight Out of Those Dreaded Daily Transitions

WORDS TO USE THAT KEEP YOUR CHILD WORKING WITH YOU

An Unexpected Effect of the Pandemic: Children Behaving “Younger” Than Their Chronological Age

Five Steps to Weaning Your Child from Their Pacifier Without Tears

Spirited children often favor their pacifier longer than their low-key peers. 

What to Do When Your Child Whines

Why is this child, who is perfectly capable of forming words, suddenly resorting to torturing moans and groans? 

Taking the Fight out of Getting Out

A peaceful start to the day is priceless.  If tears are shed trying to get dressed, shoes on, and into the car the entire rest of the day can feel lousy.  You can take steps now to insure that as school begins, morning wars don’t.

Stopping Aggressive Behavior - Begins with a Question

Oscar was howling when I entered the room.  His younger brother Evan shot a glance at me, then lowered his eyes, turned his head and body from me, all while maintaining a death grip on the iPad in his arms. 

When Your Child Just Gets Angrier If You Try to Talk about Emotions

Ever wonder why when one child is upset, if you offer a hug, she melts into your arms but another pushes you away?

Learn To Be An Emotion Coach

Your child dumps his cereal bowl on the floor.  The four year old knocks down the two year old.  You tell your child he can’t buy something and now he’s screaming at the top of his lungs in the middle of the store.

Collaborating: Finding win/win solutions

Eight-year-old Jason and seven-year-old Matt were fighting over Pokeman cards. “You stole my card!” Jason accused Matt. “I did not! Your brother traded it to me.” 

Emotion Coaching: What's up?

Seeking understanding doesn’t mean giving in.

Choose to Connect and De-escalate the Situation

You’ve picked up the cues by noticing that voices have gotten louder. Or, that there’s a slight whining tone to your child’s voice, or he’s starting to forget the rules.  Now what?

Emotion Coaching: The Secret to Effective Discipline

• You are not helpless.
• You really do make a difference. 
• Your response to your child can either escalate or deescalate the situation.  

The Secret to Effective Discipline: Emotion coaching

The dreaded proclamations erupt in the kitchen. Yet on this day, when your friend hears them, she calmly walks over to her four-year-old twins, bends down, places one hand on the iPad and the other on one’s shoulder as she replies.  “Jacob, you had the iPad and then you decided to play with your Legos.  

Fire and Fuel Behavior and Cause

When we start thinking about children’s behavior the actions that we see are what we call the “fire.”  Behind every “fire” or behavior there is a fuel source or a reason.  In order to extinguish the “fire” behavior we have to be certain we are addressing the right fuel source, specifically what the child is feeling or needing.

Emotional Coaching

Our family recently visited an arcade.  The first time our son tried one of the games he won so of course he then expected to win every time.  

The Party's Over - Now what?

My spirited son has just turned eight.  We had a party, a small gathering of friends which works well for him.  He had a great day. Today his behavior is horrid.  He is very easily frustrated, yelling and rude.